Are you a mum with little ones, and are you doing a PhD?
If your answers are yes, and yes, this blog is for you.
First and foremost, you’re a superwoman. I applaud you. I know how challenging it can be to conduct a PhD research, without taking care of little children as well. But you’re doing both, keeping your family commitment and your self-fulfilment going at the same time. And you may well be writing your thesis in your second language too. So seriously, you’re definitely a superwoman. Well done!
I recently realized that half my PhD students are mums with little ones. English is not their native language. And some of them have a job as well. The good news is they are all managing to work through the process and are on their way to becoming a doctor or have already received their doctoral degree. You will be too.
Whether you’ve just started or are reaching the final stage of mad writing up and editing, I know you will be a successful PhD researcher. But, at the same time, I know it’s not an easy process.
As a previous PhD student, a current PhD supervisor and a mum with two little ones, I want to help. I’m going to share with you five tips to help you complete your thesis on time and with ease:
Learn how to conduct a PhD research and write a PhD thesis
There is no formal teaching on carrying out a PhD research or academic writing for a PhD thesis. As a PhD researcher, you work with your supervisor on your chosen research topic from day one to the last day before submission. You may expect your supervisor will lecture you on how to carry out the literature review or tell you the difference between the discussion and conclusion chapters at the beginning of your journey. Very soon, you’ll realize that’s not the case.
The reality is quite the opposite. Supervisors expect their students to know how to conduct research and write it up to a high academic standard, or at least to be responsible for learning how to in their own time.The key is to seek out quality training or teaching on how to complete a PhD as soon as you start. Universities often provide training programmes for their students. Choose the academic ones—take them. It will save you much more time than if you try to figure it out by yourself. For example, don’t wait until your last year to take a course on how to write your thesis. I understand; you might think that’s the most appropriate time to focus on writing. However, courses on writing your thesis always advise that you start writing on day one.
Take care of your most precious asset
If you have little children and you’re doing a PhD, chances are you’ve been exhausted and stressed for a long time. You’ve given all you have for your kids, research and keeping on top of the housework. You have no time and care left for the beautiful YOU. Your neck and shoulders are killing you, and you cannot remember when you last had a chance for a facial or manicure. You simply haven’t felt fabulous for a long time.
You’re operating in a zone with ‘diminishing returns,’ meaning your compromised capability devalues all the time and effort you put into your study. As a result, you’re only getting by, not thriving or enjoying your studies.
But you can turn your situation around by taking care of your most precious asset.
I know, you’re confused yet curious. Let me explain. I’m not talking about money, house, husband or kids. You’re the asset you need to take care of first. Because you’re the entire workforce (from the leader to cleaner) now. If you’re sick or burnt out, the whole organization will stop working until you recover. Seriously, you cannot afford that.
So, set your intention to:
- Sleep for 8 hours every day.
- Drink 2-3 litres of water.
- Have your favourite healthy snacks.
- Take multi-vitamins, including omega-3.
- Take a daily fast walk or do other exercise for 20 minutes.
- Spend some time on self-care.
- Enjoy a relaxing half-hour break.
I don’t pretend it’s super-easy and that you’ll be able to integrate all of this into your life overnight. Instead, choose one to start with, then gradually add them all to your daily routine.
Have a positive community
Surround yourself with positive people. My guess is you don’t have much time to socialize with your peers at university. You’re just too busy. But please make sure you’re not isolating yourself. When you’re isolated, your motivation starts to fade, and tasks begin to seem impossible. Having a supportive community will help pull you through the process, especially during tough times.
You’ll find everyone is going through a rollercoaster journey, even the candidates without the pressure of sorting out childcare or paying a mortgage. Knowing you’re not the only one struggling will help build your confidence. As well, the encouragement and inspiration you receive from your community will fuel you with hope. And, at the same time, the support you provide to your community will drive everyone, including you, to move forward.
But please stay away from the naysayers. With the right mindset, you can do everything (you can complete your PhD on time and with ease). So protect your mental health. You don’t have to agree with or even listen to the naysayers. Stay away! They aren’t looking for debate or to help. They are looking for victims to disempower. Don’t try to persuade them. Getting your degree is the best proof. Save your precious cognitive energy for your thesis.
You possibly have a couple of naysayers in your circle. Pay attention to your body’s reaction when you talk to them: in most cases, you’ll experience a degree of discomfort. Remember, you’re allowed to choose with whom you discuss what topic. So next time you’re talking to a naysayer, be polite and excuse yourself. You may have naysayers in your family who don’t approve of your PhD. Simply steer away from the subject of your PhD when talking to them. I know it’s not easy, but you don’t want to be influenced by them and end up delaying or even giving up your research? The last point here is to be aware of your conversation with others, offer them encouragement and support.
So that’s it – that’s my three tips to help mums succeed in their PhD.
Pretty simple, huh?
It’s over to you now – which of these tips do you want to use for yourself?
- Learn about how to conduct a PhD research and write a PhD thesis
- Take care of your most precious asset
- Have a positive community
If you’d like to learn more about how to complete your PhD, my online course will show you how to plan and write your PhD with less stress and in record time. Check it out now.
Join the Complete Your PhD Online Course
Join the Complete Your PhD Course. I’ll show you:
- How long do I need to complete each section of my thesis?
- How can I stay motivated to work on my research?
- What strategies can I use to work more effectively?
- Which technologies will help me the most?
- How can I get unstuck from writer’s block?
- When should I submit my thesis?
- What can I expect at my viva?
Get ready to complete your PhD on time with joy!